I bet you have a person like this in your life: Person says, “I’ve got a problem.” Your ears perk up. A problem! You can help. “Tell me more,” you say. Person explains problem. You start to ask questions, “Have you considered this?” Person turns to you and says, “I didn’t ask for help. I want […]
When Do You Inflict Help? Read More »
Back in the comments for What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving?, I mentioned we sometimes feel as if we have no choices, no good options. We need to release our preferred option from consideration—at least for now, but probably forever. I find that releasing an option quite difficult, especially if I’m attached
How Can You Generate Options When You Feel Stuck? Read More »
In the comments for What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving?, I spoke about a couple of different things: Being attached to the process or being attached to the outcome/result Perceived or real lack of choices with respect to the outcome In this post, I’ll address what we might attach to: the process or
Are You Attached to the Process or the Outcome? Read More »
I see problems—often system problems—everywhere. It’s partly that I trained myself to see problems. Sometimes, I trip over them. (Literally. Ouch.) I like to solve problems, too. That’s what consultants do. Most often, we get paid to solve problems. At times, I like to offer these services for free. I might be inflicting help or
What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving? Read More »
I’m participating in several different writing projects: books with colleagues, shepherding experience reports, and a group book effort. We are all working to make the writing and eventual product better. We are playing the perfection game. Here’s how you play the game. You ask this question, “What would make this even better, even more perfect?”
When Can You Play the Perfection Game? Read More »
I see the world as having plenty: plenty of interesting work, plenty of people, plenty of chocolate, plenty of everything. That’s the abundance mindset. Other people see the world more as a zero-sum game, where there is not enough of anything to go around. They need to grab what they want when they see it.
Do You Believe in Scarcity or Abundance? Read More »
I’m part of another group writing effort that’s just starting. We were using regular email, not a listserve to communicate. I got confused with all the emails because we didn’t use good email etiquette such as separating new topics into new threads. Because we didn’t have a list, I couldn’t apply rules/filters to make it
Do You Have Permission? Read More »
I was at a writing workshop last week. It was a fiction workshop, where I am still learning my craft. I still learn my non-fiction craft. However, my learning curve has flattened—I understand my writing voice and I find non-fiction easier to write for now. I am not as good at writing fiction yet. I
When Do You Suffer from Comparison-itis? Read More »
It’s the beginning of a new year, and that means many people have resolutions. They’re thinking about what they will add to their lives. While addition might be helpful, what about removing things from your life? What would that look like? Here’s what happens to me if I’m not careful. I see a good idea
What Can You Remove? Read More »
In my coaching and consulting, I often encounter people who think in “or.” They ask, “Should I take this action or that action?” (They might talk about decisions, but it’s the same idea. It’s one or the other.) I’ve been asking them this question, “Can you mash those two ideas together to use an “and”
How Do You Create a Third Option? Read More »