In general, I’m willing to extend a fair amount of trust to other people. For example, when driving, I trust other drivers to stay in their lane. However, when drivers swerve all over the road, I stop extending that trust in an instant—those drivers broke trust with me. That’s because they broke the social contract […]
How Can We Clarify the Social Contract, Trust, and Betrayal? Read More »
Many people tell me they want to write more often, But they have trouble building and maintaining a consistent writing habit. One person said, “I want some of your magic dust.” A consistent writing habit does not require magic dust. However, it does require a writing habit, and possibly a streak. Too few people know
How Can We Make it Easy to Maintain Our Streaks or Habits? Read More »
Salespeople have an infamous mantra, “Always be closing.” That phrase has several meanings: Close the sale for the salesperson. Close the options for the buyer, so they don’t continue to look for alternatives. High-integrity sales work well for both the buyer and the salesperson. But notice that there’s no adaptability there. The situation closes. Instead
Three Secrets to Make “Always Be Changing” Our Personal Focus Read More »
Last week, I took a fiction writing workshop in Las Vegas. It was five days of intense learning and writing. (I had a blast and can’t wait to take the next workshop.) The first time I took a writing workshop, I learned that I had trouble adjusting to the timezone. Add in the writing, and
How Can We Use the Knowing-Doing Gap to Help Us to Change? Read More »
A few months ago, in October 2023, I noticed a strange pimple on my nose that bled after I washed and dried my face. I checked with my doctor who said to see a dermatologist. I didn’t panic, but I made an appointment as soon as I could. (An urgent reaction.) The diagnosis was squamous cell skin cancer.
How Can We Combine Our Feelings of Urgency and Calm to Be Most Effective? Read More »
It’s that time of year again—resolution time. I have never succeeded with resolutions, so I abandoned them years ago. I like what Daniel does with words for the year. (See his newsletter, Reconcile, for his first word of 2024 and how he adopted this practice.) However, while I write a lot, three words don’t quite
How Do You Choose to Measure Success? Read More »
At this time of year, many of us give and receive presents. I hope your gifting experiences were delightful. But we don’t just give each other—and ourselves—gifts at one time during the year. We often give ourselves gifts throughout the year. And while there are some physical things I would like to receive, I more
Which of Your Past Presents Do You Want to Keep and Which to Discard? Read More »
I log my word count every day. Not all writers do, but that helps me see my patterns. Unsurprisingly, I have weekly, monthly, and yearly patterns. Those patterns depend on what I’m writing, my emotional and physical health, and my office presence. I broke all my patterns in November. That’s because we had an international
How Do You See Your More or Less Useful Patterns Change Over Time? Read More »
If you’re a word nerd as I am, you might already know this word: homeostasis. It means that after an event, we return to a relatively stable state of equilibrium. Then, I read a book that offered me a new word: allostasis. That word means we use our emotional resilience to find a new state
How Can We Learn to Look Forward to a New and Possibly Unknown State? Read More »
I learned a lot about my mental models last week. That’s when several people asked me “obvious” questions about specific software tools. I hope I was reasonable when I answered. But I assumed they exhibited learned helplessness. Wasn’t the answer obvious to everyone? Clearly not. Then, this week, I did exactly the same thing. Twice.
When Is the Problem Not Learned Helplessness or Confusion But Our Mental Models? Read More »