Most of us have some form of inner critic. That critic tells us we are Wrong. Or Stupid. Or Bad. (This includes Imposter Syndrome.)
My inner critic often shows up when I’m writing. You should see the blog post I’m not publishing because I’m writing and publishing this one. (If I can figure out how to land that post, you might actually see it!)
My inner critic does not confine itself to my writing. No. That would be easier to manage. Instead, it also shows up when I want to be the best possible person I can be, so I don’t make my family uncomfortable.
I have (finally!) learned how to manage my extroversion and avoid blurting out the worst possible thing, but it took me years to do so. (And sometimes, I still blurt those things out. Sigh.)
You probably have a different inner critic. However, we must acknowledge our inner critics before we can manage them. Otherwise, we attach all kinds of other emotions to our inner critics. And that prevents us from accomplishing all the things we want to.
How I Acknowledge My Inner Critic
My inner critic has an opinion on absolutely everything. (Just like me!) That means I have to investigate my feelings. Oh, those emotions I sometimes have such trouble with. Here are the questions I ask myself:
- Do I feel fear? That might be Imposter Syndrome. Fear means I need to write to fool my imposter syndrome. That doesn’t work for everyone, but it does for me.
- Am I confused? When I feel confused by my writing, I might not be cycling enough to learn what I think. That’s an “easy” fix: review the entire piece from top to bottom and test the logic.
- Then, the million-dollar question: Am I tired of this piece? Or, I am trying to perfect it? If so, publish it and move on. My inner critic will never be happy. Stop trying to make that critic happy.
Yes, there is some management with those questions. I suspect that’s because I hate the feelings work and want to get to the critic management work right away. (Yes, I see the irony in that.)
How I Manage My Inner Critic
Most of the time, I shove that inner critic into a closet and slam the door shut. But clearly, that was not the case this week! Instead, my inner critic came out to play—and I let it.
If I were a part of a team, I would have asked someone for help. Instead, I talked to the duck. (No, the duck does not talk back. That would be strange. Communication only goes one way with a rubber duck.)
However, once I realized my inner critic was confused, I could put that piece away and learn what to do about it later. I suspect that piece will end up as the newsletter this month. We will see.
But the real issue is this: We all have inner critics. We can allow those critics to run our lives. Or, we can acknowledge and then manage them. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s fine. Once we acknowledge and manage our inner critic, we can make progress. That’s the big thing for me.