Long ago, in a company that no longer exists, my managers asked me to “stretch the truth” to a customer. I refused. One of them threatened me with the loss of my job. They didn’t fire me that day, and I left soon thereafter. I didn’t have trouble doing the right thing because I’d already decided what the right thing was for me. That decision was easy.
It’s the same idea for my preferred eating plan. Because I decided years ago what was right for me, and because I only have snack foods that work for me, I have choices to deal with my late afternoon/too early for dinner hunger pangs. That’s a similar kind of reinforcing feedback loop that agile teams use when they measure cycle time, not velocity.
In a different company, several people I led and served asked me to change a policy based on their experiences. We discussed it, and because I had control of the policy, I changed it. Later, two senior leaders dragged me into a conference room and demanded to know who had asked me to make that decision. Who could they blame? I told them I’d made the decision alone, based on how people worked. (All true.) The leaders demanded to know again who had asked me. I told them no one had.
Because I chose the right thing in advance, I made it easy for me to do the right thing.
But what about decisions you can’t prepare for or decide in advance? What do you do then?
Understand what’s right for you based on your principles.
Assess Your Principles for Your Right Decisions
I often use congruence as a way to make decisions that feel right to me.
When I balance the self, other, and context, I’m much less likely to placate anyone, such as my management in the first example. I’m a lot less likely to make bad-for-me food decisions because I’ve considered the overall context of health. Teams are more likely to focus on starting new work instead of finishing older work. And that last example, where my management wanted me to blame someone else? That’s cowardly behavior on their part, looking for someone else to blame.
If congruence doesn’t work for you, consider the context-free questions in When Do You Go Meta? However, when it comes to doing the right thing, I change those questions to address the people who will benefit or suffer from my actions. For example:
- Who will this action help or hurt?
- Am I making it easier for myself at someone else’s expense?
- Am I removing or enhancing other people’s power?
When I consider power dynamics, I find it much easier to do the right thing. That’s because I value equalizing the various power dynamics. (See How Do We Balance the Power to Make Decisions with Who Feels the Outcomes? for more details.) I want people to exercise their power more often and not feel as if they have no control over their lives.
My choices may not reflect yours. If you disagree, I’d love to know how you make it easy to do the right thing for you.
That’s the question this week: How can we make it easy to do the right thing?