I was at a client event this past week with several other consultants. Over a dinner, we discussed some of our choices—when did we say yes and when did we say no. I said something like this: “I have been saying yes more often to new and different experiences, as long as they meet certain […]
When Do You Say Yes? Read More »
We all have some resilience. How much? I am a creature of habit for many parts of my life. For example, I like my food routines, such as having the same breakfast every day. I like eating one of the same three lunches each week. While I can change what I eat, I choose not
How Do You Build Your Resilience? Read More »
True confession: I am a perfectionist. I want to be the best at everything I attempt. And, I know I can’t be perfect at everything, all the time. Certainly not when I’m trying it for the first time. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to be perfect. I have transformed this need to be perfect
Are You Looking for Success or Perfection? Read More »
There’s a survey over on HBR, Assessment: How Resilient Are You? If you have read the resilience literature, you know how to answer the questions. The questions are all hypothetical, which make them even worse. Sigh. On the other hand, maybe you haven’t read the resilience literature :-) You might get something out of it. Not
How Resilient Are You? Read More »
When we’re young, people ask us what we want to be when we grow up. We consider professions such as doctor, lawyer, policeman/woman, teacher. That’s because when we’re young, we don’t know about options such as computer programming. We answer with professions we’ve seen. As we learn more about professions, we can choose again. When I
Who Do You Want to Be? Read More »
A client emailed me last week. She’s a senior manager in her organization. Has been for several years. She’s considering reducing her work hours and taking a different position because her children are teenagers and need more emotional and driving support. I can understand. I have been there and done that. I wrote about that,
Instead of Or, Are You Considering And? Read More »
Many people see themselves as their titles. “I’m a tester or developer or project manager or business analyst.” You are not your role. You are not your title. You are your values, your mission. You are most definitely not the number of people in your organization. You’ve heard managers say, “I have xx or xxx
How Do You See Yourself? Read More »
In previous questions of the week, I’ve been focused outward, on the system. In this question, I invite you to focus inward. How do you matter, to yourself, and to others? We don’t ask ourselves this question enough. Too often, we suffer from Imposter Syndrome, where we think we are not good enough. Sure, we
How Do You Matter? Read More »
When I have a vertigo attack, I feel vulnerable. But I don’t feel shame. For me, there is a big difference. I feel vulnerable because I can’t find my balance, and with my vertigo attacks, I need to find a receptacle, and fast, because I vomit. See Inside a Vertigo Attack. I feel disoriented, shaky,
Feeling Vulnerable vs. Feeling Shame Read More »
There’s a sad story making the rounds today. Samantha Brick wrote an article in the Daily Mail called ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful. In it, she claims perks from men such as flowers and free drinks, and discrimination from female bosses. She also says: So now
Self-Esteem Can’t Arise From Your External Beauty Either Read More »