You encounter a setback or a loss. Someone, a well-meaning someone, tells you to “just get over it.” How can you? The quick answer is you don’t. (Well, I don’t.) What we do instead is move through the change model. Let me unpack that well-meaning, albeit wrong, sentence. “Just” is not a useful word to describe any […]
How Can You “Just Get Over It”? Read More »
I was thinking about saying goodbye last week. I’ve been in groups where people slip away. Yes, they leave without saying goodbye. That’s not my style. In my family, we stand around and hug and kiss everyone for a while. It takes a few minutes to say goodbye. In Mark’s family, after we hug and
How Do You Say Goodbye? Read More »
I’m staying at a lovely hotel this week, speaking at a conference. For me, the bed is comfortable except for the pillows. The feather pillows scrunch down where my head is and raise up around my ears. I don’t feel the benefit of a raised head. I asked for foam pillows. The lovely housekeeping person brought
What New Information Surprised You? Read More »
It’s July 4, here in the US, our Independence Day. We celebrate with parades, cookouts, and fireworks. Lots and lots of fireworks. I’m a fan of watching fireworks. And, I’m a fan of independence. And, I bet my notion of independence might not be the same as yours. Here’s what independence means to me: I
What Does Independence Mean to You? Read More »
I bet you have a person like this in your life: Person says, “I’ve got a problem.” Your ears perk up. A problem! You can help. “Tell me more,” you say. Person explains problem. You start to ask questions, “Have you considered this?” Person turns to you and says, “I didn’t ask for help. I want
When Do You Inflict Help? Read More »
In the comments for What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving?, I spoke about a couple of different things: Being attached to the process or being attached to the outcome/result Perceived or real lack of choices with respect to the outcome In this post, I’ll address what we might attach to: the process or
Are You Attached to the Process or the Outcome? Read More »
I see problems—often system problems—everywhere. It’s partly that I trained myself to see problems. Sometimes, I trip over them. (Literally. Ouch.) I like to solve problems, too. That’s what consultants do. Most often, we get paid to solve problems. At times, I like to offer these services for free. I might be inflicting help or
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I was thinking about some of the changes my clients are considering. Most of them want to use agile approaches, all the way through the organization. A laudable goal because it will produce the business results they want to see. What’s the first thing people can do? Change their behavior. Not change their system. Not
What Behavior Can You Change? Read More »
It’s the beginning of a new year, and that means many people have resolutions. They’re thinking about what they will add to their lives. While addition might be helpful, what about removing things from your life? What would that look like? Here’s what happens to me if I’m not careful. I see a good idea
What Can You Remove? Read More »
I was wandering around the kitchen this morning, making my breakfast. I notice this tag on the counter. I held it up and asked, “Can I delete this?” Mark immediately cracked up laughing. So did I. In the real world, as opposed to our computers and the virtual world, we throw out trash. We don’t
Can You See Your Own Mental Models? Read More »