When my children were small, they (often!) complained that I wasn’t fair. I wasn’t fair in so many ways: when they compared themselves to their friends, to each other, and to “everyone else.” That’s because our values were different from all those other people’s. And I’m pretty sure that when they got old enough to […]
Do We Need to Choose Between Fair and Equal? Read More »
I learned a lot about my mental models last week. That’s when several people asked me “obvious” questions about specific software tools. I hope I was reasonable when I answered. But I assumed they exhibited learned helplessness. Wasn’t the answer obvious to everyone? Clearly not. Then, this week, I did exactly the same thing. Twice.
When Is the Problem Not Learned Helplessness or Confusion But Our Mental Models? Read More »
Long ago, in a company that no longer exists, my managers asked me to “stretch the truth” to a customer. I refused. One of them threatened me with the loss of my job. They didn’t fire me that day, and I left soon thereafter. I didn’t have trouble doing the right thing because I’d already
How Can We Make it Easy to do the Right Thing? Read More »
While I did not attend, my high school reunion was this past week. Luckily, I got to see many of the pictures on Facebook—the old high school pictures and what people look like today. We all had a ridiculous amount of hair back then—and most of us have less now. Maybe for the men, it
Which Best Days Are Behind, Current, or Ahead of You? Read More »
Most of us have been in a position where we feel as if “we’ve been here before”—even if we know we haven’t. Sometimes, we smell something or hear something, but we feel as if we’ve been here before. There’s a name for that: deja vu. But sometimes, we feel as if this thing—that maybe we’ve
How Have You Used Vuja De to Support Your Creativity? Read More »
This past week, I allowed other people’s behaviors to irritate me to the point of grumpiness. Even though I know better, I still allowed those people under my skin. I’ve been trying to move to more tolerance for their behaviors—because I can’t change those other people. And, I’m trying to change my reactions, so I
How Do You Move Past Grumpiness to (at Minimum) Tolerance? Read More »
People ask little kids what they want to be when they grow up—to talk about their dreams. Back when I was a kid, I had no idea about all the possibilities. I’d seen doctors, nurses, teachers, and businessmen. (No businesswomen. Yes, I am that old!) And even as a kid, I realized doctors had power—much
When Is It Time to Set Aside Your Current Dreams and Start Over? Read More »
I’ve been taking a ton of fiction writing classes, some in-person and most online. Two weeks ago, I was at a thriller fantasy class (yes, a mashup of two genres). I successfully wrote three stories. Not one of them was a thriller. Not one. (At one point, I said, “Genre, shmenre” in the class.) I
How Can We Make the Chaos of Learning Feel Better? Read More »
Because I was traveling last week, I had a long list of plans for this week, mostly involving writing. Sure, I need to maintain my workouts and other personal deliverables, but I had big, big plans. Several things derailed my plans: My return flight to Boston arrived at 3:30 on Saturday morning, not 8 pm
How Do You Manage When All Your Beautiful Plans Go Poof? Read More »
If you’re like me, you have plenty of improvement goals. I have personal, professional, and office-cleanup goals. (Since my office appears to be a perennial mess, I count that as a separate and very subsidiary goal.) I often use the compounding effect to make those improvements. The compounding effect works very well for money. Put
How Can You Use the Compounding Effect to Achieve What You Want? Read More »