People ask little kids what they want to be when they grow up—to talk about their dreams. Back when I was a kid, I had no idea about all the possibilities. I’d seen doctors, nurses, teachers, and businessmen. (No businesswomen. Yes, I am that old!)
And even as a kid, I realized doctors had power—much more power than nurses or teachers. And I had no real idea what my dad did as a businessman. So when people asked me, I said I wanted to be a doctor.
That was my dream until my first semester of college, where I did not get a 4.0—not by a long shot.
It was time for me to set aside that dream and start over. I experimented and got a degree in Computer Science, so I could get a job. (My first dream was to be gainfully employed, hopefully in something I enjoyed.)
In the meantime, I saw many of my friends pursue degrees that did not interest them. Later, at work, I saw more people go through the motions, but not really enjoy their work. (So-called “quiet quitting” is nothing new.)
I suspect that was because many of these people did not pursue their dreams, but did pursue someone else’s. Or, their tastes had changed.
Their original dream wasn’t enough in some way for them. But they continued to pursue that dream instead of starting over.
I see that in some of my peers, too. Especially when it’s time to consider retirement. That’s when many of us need to start over. But how?
We might need to cheat.
Consider “Cheating” When It’s Time to Start Over
Do you remember the Kobayashi Maru test from the Old Star Trek movies? Kirk cheated in order to pass that no-win test.
But I don’t buy any lose-lose scenarios. That means there are only two choices, and you know how much I love to use the Rule of Three. (See When Can You Recognize and Avoid the Trap of Either/Or Thinking? for that and the Rule of Six!)
So if you see your current dreams dying, how can you create more options?
- Start considering new ideas early. How has your job changed from the time you started to work until now? My jobs have changed dramatically at least once a decade since I started to work.
- What trends can you see? For example, it’s clear to me that AI will invade a lot of the writing we see. That will decrease the value of “normal writing.” So I’m doubling down on what makes my writing unique and valuable.
- Experiment with and practice changing your dreams more often. I realized early on that while I was interested in radio, I didn’t want a job in radio. I’ve used what I learned in radio to be a better speaker.
Some people feel as if they invested so much into their old dreams that they can’t just quit that work. That’s an example of the sunk cost fallacy—thinking you must continue, based on the money or time you invested in the past.
You have choices. You can set aside your current dreams and start over. I bet you’ll create even better dreams.
Announcements…
I’m almost ready to publish the first iteration of Project Lifecycles. I am clearing some errors, but hope to publish the initial version next week.
Successful Independent Consulting is out everywhere. I just realized today that I want to change the eventual workshops for that book, so stay tuned.
And, I have a new self-study class (with optional coaching from me): Write a Conference Proposal the Conference Wants and Accepts.
Read More of Create an Adaptable Life
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Here are other links you might find useful:
- Create an Adaptable Life Blog to see the blog, not just the newsletter.
- My Books
- My Workshops
- Managing Product Development Blog
- Johanna’s Fiction
Till next time,
Johanna
© 2023 Johanna Rothman