I’ve had several lovely conversations over the past couple of weeks with friends and colleagues of long standing. (They’re not old people, which is why I’m not calling them old friends.) Each of them wants to do something different with their lives, something that matters more than what they are doing now. They often said, “read more,” “exercise more,” even “write more.” (I suspect the reading and writing was because I read and write a lot. Not necessarily because that’s what they wanted. Sigh.)
None of these things is difficult or requires specific training. Sure, some of their desired exercise might require a gym or a trainer, but they could start now. At home or at work.
They could start now.
Instead, these nice people think they need to wait for some other milestone, such as retirement, a new job, or something other event in their lives.
I think they wait because they are afraid of doing it “wrong.” But what if they could build a system to start this new thing and then improve it?
The longer we wait, the more inertia we build to maintain that wait state.
Worse, the more intertia we have, the less likely we are to personally commit to this new thing. Because we talked about doing it—and we have not.
Instead of waiting to do what matters to us, here are three ideas to stop waiting and start doing.
Three “Secrets” to Stop Waiting and Start Doing
Here are my “secrets” to stop waiting:
- Timebox a short experiment.
- Change your calendar to add this one thing to your schedule.
- Talk to yourself about this thing that matters to you.
Here’s how they work.
Timebox a Short Experiment
When I’m uncertain about how to proceed, I often use a ten- or fifteen-minute timebox. Early in my fiction career, when I could not figure out how to start a short story, I often used five-minute timeboxes. That was enough time to make a little progress, but not so much time that I felt overwhelmed by the entire task.
You can do that, too.
As I became more confident as a fiction writer, I was able to extend those timeboxes to ten minutes, and then to fifteen minutes. But notice, I had to become more confident. And that’s one of the other secrets: the more we practice and persevere, the more we add to our self-confidence, our self-esteem.
Start small. That’s how you can build your confidence to succeed.
I can’t just start small—that’s not good enough for me. Why? Because I can always say, “I don’t have time.” If that feels familiar to you, add this thing to your calendar.
Add What Matters to Your Calendar or Schedule
I often say that my calendar runs my life. I put everything in there. Not just meetings, but also my todos. So I’m serious about adding what matters to your calendar.
As I reshape my work, I’ve changed the times I block on my calendar. I’m copying many other writers by putting the most important work (writing) first thing in my calendar. What if you want to read more? Read for 15 minutes in the morning instead of watching the news.
Here’s why that works: The news stinks. And if there’s an emergency, you will soon learn what that emergency is and what you need to respond. While I do not recommend being an ostrich and burying your head in the sand, I do recommend you start the day with a good book. If you do, you will be much more likely to start the day feeling good about yourself.
Decide what matters to you. Do that first, just for ten or fifteen minutes. You’ll feel great about the rest of your day.
Talk to Yourself, Not Other People
Sometimes, writers talk about the book they’re writing for years. When they ask me why they can’t write, I explain that they have talked their book away. They don’t need to write that book because they’ve been talking about it.
That book no longer matters to them.
If you have that problem, rethink the book you want to write. (See How to Start a Nonfiction Book to Educate, Inspire, or Influence Your Ideal Reader to Act for some ideas on my other site.)
Start What Matters to You Today
If you want to change something about your life, start small. Make a small change every day to reinforce that change. That will allow you to reinforce your self esteem and change.
Don’t wait to start. Start now. (And maybe read James Clear’s Atomic Habits. That link has my affiliate code in it.)