I could tell when my parents had overdosed on their favorite news channel. They said things like, “Kids these days…”
Because I’m a bad, bad daughter, I used to ask, “Which kids? Can you name two or three? Do you mean our children?” (Their grandchildren.)
“No, not our children,” they said.
Their next favorite saying was, “When we were younger, kids didn’t do that…” and referred to drugs or sex, and definitely rock and roll.
That’s when I gently reminded them of the world’s oldest profession, that hallucinogenics were discovered and used eons ago, and that every generation had music that previous generations didn’t like.
I got frustrated with their old (age) thinking. While I tried to be gentle as I asked them to reconsider, I suspect they did not feel any gentleness.
Old thinking doesn’t just date our ideas. It has several other problems:
- We’re convinced we’re correct, so we don’t generate or consider other options
- Our thinking makes us age. The more we stop considering new ideas, the faster the world leaves us behind.
I certainly don’t want anyone to leave me behind, so I want to postpone old (age) thinking.
How We Might Postpone Old (Age) Thinking
Here are some ideas that can postpone that old (age) thinking:
- Remember what was bad about the “good” old days.
- If I really think things are worse now, see if I can develop at least three concrete examples of how things were better then.
- Consider contrarian ideas to generate possible options.
Here’s how I’ve used each of these.
The Good Old Days Were Not So Hot
When my folks talked about the “good old days,” I reminded them of several things that made our lives more difficult. For years, we had only one car and my dad drove it to work. That meant we did errands only on Thursday night when stores stayed open later, and Saturdays. (I lived in Massachusetts, where we still had blue laws about work on Sunday.)
While we had no formal social media, the local rumor mill was just as vicious as social media is now. Too many people’s reputations suffered from untruths and half-truths. Rumors and lies are not new—we’ve had them forever. However, now they spread faster than before. But what people talked about? What kids (and adults) do now: sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Also, corruption, war, and all the other illegal and immoral things people still do today.
Even though times change, people haven’t changed.
That means it’s more important now to move from vague generalities to concrete examples.
Concrete Examples Help Us Recognize Reality
My parents had very few examples when I asked them to clarify what they meant about “kids these days,” or any of their other opinions. That’s because they had no examples.
We allow the “news” in various forms to shock us into thinking the worst. When I reminded them about what kids did when I was growing up, they often admitted they didn’t know anyone who was doing these supposedly bad things now. They had no concrete examples.
That’s when I suggested they needed to broaden their circles of friends. (They did not appreciate those kinds of comments. And appreciate is way too subtle a word here.)
We have alternatives.
Contrarian Thinking Can Help Create New Options
It wasn’t worth trying to change how my folks thought. So I didn’t bother. But when I catch myself in old (age) thinking, I try to consider new alternatives or options to jiggle my thinking. Contrarian thinking helps me do that.
- Instead of thinking how good things were, I remember which things were bad or not as easy as they are now. Here are some financial examples: have a credit card in just my name, use an ATM, electronically transfer funds among my various accounts.
- For news and media, I ask myself how many news sources can I consider instead of falling into an information silo?
- And, when was the last time I challenged my own thinking?
The more I ask questions with these essays and newsletters, the more I challenge myself to consider alternatives and create new options.
Old (Age) Thinking Can Trip Everyone at Any Age
Anyone can fall prey to old (age) thinking. Old (age) thinking occurs when we do not question what we see and hear, or when we do not search for concrete examples. That’s why rethinking benefits all of us.
Benjamin Franklin said that nothing is certain except for death and taxes. While none of us know how long we have, I’d like to postpone my old (age) thinking for as long as possible. Because the more we persist in thinking of the past, the faster we age. And I have way too much to do now.
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Johanna
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