Are You Hoping or Expecting?

Seth Godin’s Hope and Expectation inspired me to write this post.

I hope for a great many things. I hope that the nice researchers find a cure for vertigo. I hope to be able to bike on the road (on some sort of tandem) with Mark. I hope that people will buy my books and write 5-star reviews :-) Hope keeps me going, to better myself.

I don’t have too many expectations, especially of other people. I do not expect that people will help me although I am often delighted when they do. I do not expect a cure for vertigo, although I keep data about what triggers my attacks. I do not expect that people will understand that grabbing my elbow throws me off balance instead of helping me. (Sigh.)

When I hope, I act. When I expect, I don’t. There is a difference.

Because I still hope for a vertigo cure, I am taking care of myself and keeping data. Who knows? It might help. The taking care of myself does help. But, so far, no one wants my data. We’ll see :-)

Because I hope to tandem with Mark (even if my part of the bike has to look like a tricycle), I am trying to increase my bicycle cadence. Mark has always been a stronger bicyclist than I am. I need to match my cadence to his, I suspect. Even if I don’t get on a tandem with him, I will be stronger for my workouts.

Because I hope that people buy my books and get enjoyment and use out of them, I work hard to write well. I practice my writing, all kinds of writing. I enjoy the writing, and I love hearing about people who use my books and have great outcomes.

Hope drives me to act. I consider new alternatives, especially the Rule of Three.

Too often, I’m disappointed in my expectations of people or situations. That’s because I’m passive when I expect.

I used to expect that Mark knew what I was thinking. However, he is not clairvoyant. I now ask for what I want, especially for gifts.

I used to expect that people would understand what it means to use a cane or a rollator. Nope, the able-bodied people have little to no idea. I need to explain to them what I need. (I now hope I can change people’s minds about what it means to have a handicap.)

I used to expect that if people liked one of my books, they would write a review. I now know to ask for reviews, because most people are too something: busy, reluctant to write, not sure they know what to write.

I believe that most people are terrific, thoughtful human beings. It’s that human thing that’s an issue. I have it too, in spades. As humans, we are fallible and don’t always do what others desire us to do.

That’s why it’s worth it to hope and act. Not expect and be disappointed.

My dear adaptable problem solver friends, that is the question of the week: Are you hoping or expecting?

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