Do you feel as if the various world events happen faster than you can understand them? I do. That means I start with assumptions and strongly held convictions—even if it turns out I’m wrong.
I don’t like to be wrong—and I suspect you don’t either.
That’s why I’m considering how I can change my reaction from starting with my assumptions and convictions to considering how to start with empathy and compassion.
I start by assessing my mental models.
Assess Your Mental Models
When I’m convinced of something, I know I’m right. I would like to think I’m right more often than I’m wrong. However, when I’m wrong, it’s often a Big Wrong.
Why be wrong in half-measures? Why not be totally, irretrievably wrong? My assumptions and convictions lead me that way.
That’s why I start clarifying the assumptions and convictions I have.
For example, for years, I was sure that a universal basic income or giving money to homeless people was Wrong. That’s with a capital W because my assumptions were:
- People didn’t appreciate something free. They needed to have some “skin in the game.”
- A UBI or cash would create a class of free-loaders.
- That UBI would deter people from working.
I appear to be wrong.
Take a look at A Canadian study gave $7,500 to homeless people. Here’s how they spent it. Especially when people receive enough money (and I don’t know what enough is, but I suspect it’s enough for rent for a reasonable time), they start to think long-term. There’s a Stanford study that says, “Findings are generally positive that UBI-type programs alleviate poverty and improve health and education outcomes and that the effects on labor market participation are minimal.” Stanford also has a fascinating interactive visualization. Also, see the Stockton California experiment results.
Are there bounds on this UBI? I’m sure there are. However, poverty has real costs to society.
Do I know all the answers? Absolutely not. But am I now open to UBI as an idea? Yes.
Since my assumptions and convictions led me astray, it’s time to start with empathy instead.
Start with Empathy and Kindness
I often describe myself as a “hard-boiled egg,” Spock-like person because I start with logic. However, even those of us who start with logic realize that empathy and kindness make sense. (Those of you who start from your hearts are probably laughing out loud now. I can live with that.)
How can we allow for the logic and emotions of us messy humans?
Instead of discounting your stance, I can start with empathy and kindness.
Empathy and kindness allow me to listen with a kind ear. If you also use your empathy and kindness, we can search for our common ground, where we can agree.
That allows us to see and understand world events, using and adapting our mental models. If we stick with our assumptions and mental models, we miss all the nuances of these problems.
Do I think we can all “just get along?” No. However, I would love to see more nuance in the various conversations we have now. That means we must acknowledge our assumptions and convictions all based on our mental models of the world. Then, when we start with empathy and kindness, we can create a world we can all celebrate.
I chose the image for this post because the tea candles are in the shape of a heart. However, they are at various heights, and some are flickering more than others. That’s how I feel about the world today.
That’s the question this week: How can we balance our assumptions and convictions to start with empathy?