For years, I’ve delivered talks or written articles for various outlets. I have a simple rule: If the outlet makes money from my speaking or writing, I should make money, too. That rule helps me decide which offers I take and which offers I decline.
Recently, many outlets want me to deliver talks or write for them—for free. They will make money from my effort—and they have decided not to share that money with me. Or, recognizable and very large, very profitable companies, want me to speak for free.
What do I get?
Exposure.
Remember, people die of exposure. (That’s a quote from Successful Independent Consulting: Relationships That Focus on Mutual Benefit.)
However, many of my peers think exposure will help their careers. They agree to speak or write for free. That’s an uneven relationship and can trap consultants into contracts that don’t work over the long term.
Uneven relationships create traps. The requestor takes advantage of the provider.
Personally, we might not even realize we take advantage of others. Here are some personal examples I’ve seen:
- The stay-at-home mom, who ends up picking up other neighborhood kids because she’s “home.” (Yes, I realize some men stay home. Very, very few.)
- The person who always supplies the drinks or the dessert when friends get together—instead of all sharing the responsibility.
- The person at work who initiates the get-well or congratulations cards.
Think about your experiences and put faces to these people. What do they have in common?
I bet that your experience mirrors mine—all of these people are women.
Women aren’t the only people who allow others to take advantage of them, but we might be more prone to do so. And that’s because of our general cultural expectations.
Values & Culture Might Create Traps That Encourage Others to Take Advantage
When profitable companies tell me they don’t have the money for me to speak, that’s code for: “Our management has decided not to fund this initiative. So we want to continue this initiative and we want you to help us.”
The nice people who ask me to speak or write don’t realize that’s what their management has decided. But the management decision not to fund what they previously funded? Oh yes, that’s a management choice about what management values.
And when for-profit companies don’t want to pay me for my intellectual property? That’s a choice, too, but it reflects the corporate values of taking advantage of people the organization thinks won’t push back.
Those people are jerks, and I don’t do business with jerks.
Is it possible these people all asked me to work for free because I’m female? No. I’m pretty sure these people asked men, too.
It all depends on how desperate people are for exposure.
But the personal examples? That’s a cultural thing that says, “Women take care of other people, and we don’t have to pay them to do so.” That cultural thinking pervades every part of society. That’s why it’s okay for people to ask women to do more of the unpaid, unpromotable work than they ask men. I wrote about that in Leadership Tip #7: Be Wary of Spending Time on Non-Promotable Tasks.
How will you respond when people ask you to work for free? They might couch this as “giving back to the community.” Or, “since you’re in the neighborhood.”
All of these can become traps that allow others to take advantage of you.
Do what makes sense for you.
Evaluate each request. If you do agree to work for free, decide how long you will offer your capabilities to others.
That’s the question this week: What traps you into letting others take advantage of you?
“They will make money from my effort—and they have decided not to share that money with me.”
That’s all you really needed to say. There’s a word for it in our language that truly describes the mentality of people/companies who expect you to hand over what you create without compensating you, too: Exploitation. When companies make the choices you describe, they are hoping that this word won’t cross the minds of those whose assets/talents/outputs they desire.
If people, especially women, would take a moment to assign a fair market value to their time and efforts, they might be better able to resist falling into the “we can give you wide exposure” trap. My plumber, my electrician, and even the ISP who provides me with digital access to the Internet, all expect me to cough up cash that is equal to the value of the services they provide. If I tell them I can’t pay as much as they’re asking but I can give them rave reviews and great exposure, does anyone believe that those providers will accept me as a customer?
Of course not.
I wonder what the reaction would be if housewives and spouses who provide round-the-clock caregiving, cleaning, cooking, laundering, and childcare services were to present a bill at the end of every week for services rendered? Do you think it might reframe the value of those services in the minds of the people who benefit from them?
My folks were terrific role models for people (my mom) work worked around the home. (As opposed to work from home.) But I suspect I am in the minority of having good role models for valuing work around the home.
Yup. Exploitation it is.