I was thinking about saying goodbye last week. I’ve been in groups where people slip away. Yes, they leave without saying goodbye. That’s not my style. In my family, we stand around and hug and kiss everyone for a while. It takes a few minutes to say goodbye. In Mark’s family, after we hug and […]
How Do You Say Goodbye? Read More »
I often think about the worst thing that could happen, as a way to manage risk. That’s one alternative. Sometimes, when I’m stuck on a problem, I think about the worst thing I could do. Not as a risk management approach, but as a way to create more options for solving my problem. Here’s a
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If you’re like me, things don’t always proceed as I planned. Sometimes, my plans turn out better. Sometimes, worse. If I want to make them better in the moment, I need to be more adaptable. That means I need to practice my adaptability. Here’s an example. I have many immutable truths in my life. (You
How Do You Build Your Adaptability? Read More »
One of my problem-solving approaches is to generate options. When I don’t generate enough options, I don’t see how to proceed. Before I knew about the Rule of Three, I, often, took the first option I considered. It was often a pretty good option. I learned later that I had more options—and they were often better
How Can You Create Time or Space for More Options? Read More »
I bet you have a person like this in your life: Person says, “I’ve got a problem.” Your ears perk up. A problem! You can help. “Tell me more,” you say. Person explains problem. You start to ask questions, “Have you considered this?” Person turns to you and says, “I didn’t ask for help. I want
When Do You Inflict Help? Read More »
Back in the comments for What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving?, I mentioned we sometimes feel as if we have no choices, no good options. We need to release our preferred option from consideration—at least for now, but probably forever. I find that releasing an option quite difficult, especially if I’m attached
How Can You Generate Options When You Feel Stuck? Read More »
I see the world as having plenty: plenty of interesting work, plenty of people, plenty of chocolate, plenty of everything. That’s the abundance mindset. Other people see the world more as a zero-sum game, where there is not enough of anything to go around. They need to grab what they want when they see it.
Do You Believe in Scarcity or Abundance? Read More »
I’m part of another group writing effort that’s just starting. We were using regular email, not a listserve to communicate. I got confused with all the emails because we didn’t use good email etiquette such as separating new topics into new threads. Because we didn’t have a list, I couldn’t apply rules/filters to make it
Do You Have Permission? Read More »
A friend sent me a very long treatise about complexity. The author contends that we, as humans, have a confirmation bias towards complexity. I’m not linking to it because I found the writing too complex to read. I’m not going to inflict that on you. However, I do think the question is useful: are we
Are We Biased to the Simple or Complex? Read More »
In my coaching and consulting, I often encounter people who think in “or.” They ask, “Should I take this action or that action?” (They might talk about decisions, but it’s the same idea. It’s one or the other.) I’ve been asking them this question, “Can you mash those two ideas together to use an “and”
How Do You Create a Third Option? Read More »