I’ve been fighting a head cold all week. That means I’ve had various Queen personas: the Nap Queen, the Cough Queen, and the Sneezing Queen. I hope I am in my final iteration of being a Cough Queen because I have things I want to accomplish.
That feeling of being pulled away from my objectives feels like an undertow to me.
Since I grew up near the ocean, I have a lot of experience with mild undertows. That’s where you try to swim to shore, but the water pulls you back out. The more you try the direct path, the more the water pulls you back.
Instead, swimmers need to swim parallel to the shore for a while, and then try to swim toward the shore again. We keep the same objective, but we probe for options that will allow us to accomplish our goals.
This cold is a physical undertow, which means I don’t have too many choices. I have to prioritize my health first, because that allows me to do anything else.
I suspect many of us feel as if we have many undertows these days. We try the direct path. When that doesn’t work, we need to find parallel ways to accomplish our objectives to escape these undertows.
Here are some possibilities for parallel paths.
Undertows Require Parallel Paths
I often start with these questions to create parallel paths:
- What can I stop doing for now? (As the Nap Queen, it was clear to me that many somethings would have to give.)
- Can I ask for help with anything? (As the Cough and Sneezing Queen, I could not do much of the speaking I had hoped to.)
- What and how can I measure useful data to see the undertow to create more options? (Seeing reality.)
These decisions are never easy for me.
In the “stop doing” path: I had to say no to a scheduled lunch with a dear friend. I took a nap when I would have been driving because I was unable to keep my eyes open. We rescheduled for this upcoming week.
In the “ask for help” path: Instead of doing all the normal things around the house, I asked Mark for help. (Which he was happy to offer.) I also asked for help from people on calls with me. Would they please take the lead on asking questions, etc. Things I normally do, but was not quite able to do.
Then, there’s the “measuring useful data alternative. How can I see my reality more clearly?
What Data Do I Need?
I already gather data about my health: I log my sleep, weight, and food. However, that’s not fine-grained enough if I need a parallel path to get back to shore. Instead, I need more frequent, granular pieces of information.
I started with a tick mark on a piece of paper every time I coughed. With many tick marks, I realized I was coughing a lot. I could make different choices for medicine. (Which I did.) I used the same idea for the sneezing, and that worked well.
Notice that the data was small, easy to track, and offered me just enough information. That’s what we need for adaptability, to enhance our ability to find and choose a parallel path.
I hope you stay healthy. But if you are ever caught in an undertow, consider what to stop doing, how you might ask for help, and the data you need to choose a parallel path.