It’s commencement season. Commencement speakers offer (hopefully) valuable insights. Parents watch with pride as their students walk across the stage to pick up their diplomas.
And now, everyone’s life will change.
In the case of high school graduations, many kids move away, and parents shoulder tuition payments. The family unit changes, too. My parents used to tell me that at the first dinner when I was at school, they all ate in silence. I wasn’t there, sharing my opinions. Loudly.
In the case of university graduations, parents no longer have tuition payments. (Let’s hope the newly-graduated students do not, either.) And, depending on the student’s job prospects, the family unit might change again.
Everyone’s lives have a different structure, regardless of the commencement. Every commencement marks a step where the student or graduate takes more responsibility.
But, that’s not the point of commencements. Commencements offer us a way to mark a personal milestone in a public way.
Regardless of how we celebrate, every birthday is a personal milestone. So are weddings, funerals, and other lifecycle events.
But commencement is a different kind of personal milestone. When we commence, we receive a public acknowledgment that we have achieved something society finds useful—evidence of learning.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter what the weather was, or who the speaker was when you graduated. It does matter what you think about what you learned.
What Reflections Do You Have Now About Your Commencements?
My high school graduation was 50 years ago next week. I don’t remember much, except it took forever, under a very hot early June sun. I don’t remember the speaker. Nor do I remember walking across the stage—although, I must have!
But I do remember thinking that high school was not the pinnacle of my life. I was totally ready to move on and reinvent myself at university.
My college commencements (I have 2 undergrad degrees) weren’t much better, but they were inside a building. That made everything much, much better. I don’t remember any speaker at all, nor how long the ceremonies lasted.
But there were several things I loved about my commencements:
- We all knew—graduates, family, and friends—that we graduates had finished something difficult and challenging.
- I was ready to commence. First, to go to college, then to go to “real” work.
Commencements mark these kinds of personal milestones.
Most of us do not live our lives in public. We celebrate our personal milestones with a small group of friends and family. Yet commencements are public functions. We take this commencement time to celebrate with a much larger group that includes strangers.
With the benefit of hindsight, that’s what I love about commencements. That we acknowledge our perseverance, grit, and ability to finish something difficult. And that our celebration matters to more than just our little patch of the world.
If a beloved person in your life is commencing this season, congratulations. I wish you the best and happy celebrations.
To the person commencing: welcome to stepping into the unknown. 50 years ago, I could not have imagined how good my life could be. I hope you can make your good life, too.