Too often, I hear the word “just” when modifying a feeling. “Can’t you just shake it off?” Or, “Can’t you just move on?” Or, “Can you just go along with what I want?” Every single one of those “justs” are about ignoring what the other person feels. If you’re on the receiving end of these […]
Can You “Just” Anything? Read More »
We have problems in our lives. Sometimes, we can fix those problems. Sometimes, we cope with those problems. Sometimes, we manage those problems. And, some problems might appear to have no solution—now or ever. We need to reframe these problems so we can determine how to proceed. Some problems are easy to fix when we
When Do You Need to Reframe the Problem? Read More »
A comment on When Do You Make Time to Think? got me thinking about books. I am a big, big reader. On vacation, I can easily read two, sometimes three books a day. Not on vacation, I only read a couple of books a week. I skim much of the non-fiction, so maybe I actually
Do You Have Rules for Reading? Read More »
Everyone is crazy-busy. Too many of us multitask, listening to a book or podcast when we walk or drive, focusing and pushing through on specific work, making the “most” of our time. When do we make time to think? Do we ever? I asked myself this very question last week. I had—for me—a long drive
When Do You Make Time to Think? Read More »
I’ve been talking with people in various mediums about how their agile approach is working. All these people have similar problems: they are trying to use a specific agile approach. That approach isn’t working for them. They persist because otherwise, they’re not “agile.” They’re stuck on this one possible solution. They boxed themselves in. We
How Do We Recognize When We Box Ourselves In? Read More »
I was writing the geographically distributed agile teams book this morning with Mark Kilby. I said, “I have to fight for all my empathy skills. They might come naturally to you, but they don’t for me.” He laughed. Empathy and sympathy are quite different. To me, it’s about the context. Here’s the difference: Empathy is
Are You Fighting to Build Your Empathy Skills? Read More »
I often think about the worst thing that could happen, as a way to manage risk. That’s one alternative. Sometimes, when I’m stuck on a problem, I think about the worst thing I could do. Not as a risk management approach, but as a way to create more options for solving my problem. Here’s a
What’s the Worst Thing You Could Do? Read More »
I like structuring my work. Some structures don’t box me in. I use timeboxes and a daily structure to organize my time. I have a default set of book and article organizations. Sometimes, that means my Groove Turns Into a Rut. More often, the structure enhances my creativity. I feel more creative because I don’t have
When Can Structure Enhance Your Creativity? Read More »
Back in the comments for What’s the Difference Between Problem Whining and Problem Solving?, I mentioned we sometimes feel as if we have no choices, no good options. We need to release our preferred option from consideration—at least for now, but probably forever. I find that releasing an option quite difficult, especially if I’m attached
How Can You Generate Options When You Feel Stuck? Read More »
I wish I was perfect in many things: in my writing, in my coaching, in my personal life. I’m often good, sometimes great, and sometimes a disaster. I can only be a disaster if I’m willing to try an experiment. That means I try to live Voltaire’s quote: The perfect is the enemy of the
How Perfect Must You Be? Read More »