Adaptability challenges me on several levels. The biggest is how to balance my experience, with my present, to look towards the future. I might be stuck in the past. I might not realize the present is different from my experience and current perception of the present. I might be afraid for the future.
I was at my nephew’s wedding this past weekend. It was great. Everyone looked beautiful and handsome. The ceremony went off without a hitch.
I had a little problem with the pictures. I was the Aunt. I needed to be in some pictures. And, when the photographer said, “Everyone on the grass,” I knew I was in trouble. (I was living in the past.)
I wore sneakers so I could be stable. Yes, even with a fancy dress. I had my rollator because I don’t walk without it.
My problem: the grass was down a small hill. No cutouts for the rollator. Plenty of bushes. And, a relatively steep incline.
I don’t do well on steep inclines. I don’t do well when I have to jump a curb with a steep incline.
Now, let me whine a little about grass. Grass hides holes that range from small to large. I am extremely good at finding those holes, twisting my ankle, and then hobbling. Hobbling means I lurch. Not very comfortable with vertigo.
I didn’t quite freak out, but it was a close thing.
At first, I was all set to have the photographer add me to the picture later. My family said, “No, you can make it down.”
I was working on old data. I’ve been purposefully practicing my walking. I’ve focused my strength training for overall stability. I have various coping mechanisms that get the rollator and me over curbs.
And, I was stuck in the past, in FEAR. I’d forgotten my recent present and how I work to manage my vertigo.
My family helped. One person stood in front of the hole on my right. Two others spotted me, going down the incline and then coming back up.
My brother-in-law held me upright for the pictures so I didn’t sway.
I smiled on cue. The pictures came out great. I was glad I overcame my fears and smiled for the camera.
I’m fearless when it comes to writing, to work, to anything I can learn how to manage and control. I’m good at taking my experience, applying it in the present, and learning and preparing for the future.
I’m not fearless when it comes to physical things, because I have too much experience that says I will fall down.
That’s the problem for me. I have overwhelming past experience that something bad might occur. I want to avoid that.
When we are able to balance what we learned in the past, to use in the present, and to learn for the future, we can succeed.
Should I have worried? Of course. The risks were too high for me to assume that things would “just” work out.
However, being stuck in the past, stuck in worry? Not such a smart idea.
That is the question this week: How do you balance your past, present, and future?