How Can You Get What You Want?

I was thinking about the election. (I know, this week, who hasn’t?) We appear to be a fractured society. That means at least half of us didn’t get what we wanted.

Even if you voted for the winner, the realities of politics and promises pre-election never quite work out the same way post-election.

We encounter other setbacks and disappointments. Normally, we shrug them off and find another way around the problem.

satir-change-modelIf you look at the Satir change model, we can continue and find another way when we find a new transforming idea right away.

I suspect that many of us do not yet have transforming ideas about how to get what we want in this changed world.

Let’s talk about some ways you might find a transforming idea.

  • Define what you want in a positive way—a way that will help you achieve something. For example, saying you want someone who lost the election to gain that office is not helpful. What did that person stand for? What of those positions do you want to see happen? Define the results you want.
  • Think of three options that might help you start to achieve those results.
  • Think of the first actions for each of these options. Sometimes, I find I can generate three possible actions for each option. Then I feel as if I’m really making progress on the problem.
  • What do you need to do to take that small step?

Here’s an example that has nothing to do with politics. I would like more balance so I’m more comfortable in my daily life. I don’t have a choice to go backward in time and somehow not have an inner ear hemorrhage. Time—at this point—only runs in one direction. You and I can only go forward.

What are my options for more balance?

  • I can increase my exercise so I have stronger muscles.
  • I can increase my walking so I practice being balanced. (When we repeat successful activities, our brains learn what success is. I am less likely to fall and more likely to know when I am losing my balance.
  • I can lose weight. (Sigh. I am a work in progress.)
  • I can use more aids, so I don’t have to worry as much about my balance. (Canes, rollators, hanging on to immovable objects, even people sometimes.)

Yes, those are four items on my list. Whenever I use the Rule of Three, I find that I see more options. I had forgotten about the aids until I made my list.

Possible actions for these options:

  • For exercise, maybe I can do my strengthening and stretching exercises twice a day. (I normally do them in the morning, so they’re done and off my list. Maybe twice might work for some of them.)
  • Walk more times per day. In the summer, I took three purposeful walks of about 18 minutes each during the day. It was easy because the sun was out after dinner. Maybe it’s time to walk around the house (not outside) after dinner, even though the sun is down.
  • I am not discussing my meal plan here. (Big Grin!)
  • I can ask for help and be aware of more aids in my life. I do not have to do this alone.

I have several options for increasing my balance. Will I ever be normal? Of course not. I have a broken inner ear. However, I can accommodate my problems if I get stronger, walk more and see more opportunities for weight loss and asking for help.

Johanna's Problem Solving LoopIf your world appears off-kilter, consider what you want to achieve. Generate options for it. Determine some small actions. Then, measure and get some feedback. Keep going.

Your brains and your network are valuable tools when you want to change something, to get what you want. Use them to their full advantage.

Dear readers, that is the question this week: How can you get what you want?

2 thoughts on “How Can You Get What You Want?”

  1. Thank you for a highly readable, practical guide. In the transient state between effective control and new levels of functioning, there may be a noticeable fall in performance. This is an investment in our breakthrough. We may feel pressured to resort to familiar control tactics,,,, this may mean less of an investment available to maximise our new levels performance. Be prudent, be diligent, be proactive, and stay the course…. Thanks so much!

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